FortSafety

Your Kid Has Seen Porn – Now What?!

John Winstanley
John Winstanley
Internet Safety Advocate, Husband, Father, Runner, NOT perfect...and that is o.k.
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By Sharon Lee, MFT, LPC, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist, APSATS Candidate

For Fort Safety, Inc.
Atlanta, Georgia

 


At any given moment our children are only one click away from discovering sexual images they are too young to comprehend, yet too excited by to turn away from. What makes it so hard for kids to resist these images despite feeling upset or confused?

As humans we are wired biologically to be attracted to sexualized images and experiences. It is natural. Pornography, unbeknownst to our children, is fantasy performed by actors in controlled settings that display edited versions of pleasure. When a child watches pornography, the brain releases large amounts of a neurochemical called dopaminethe molecule of motivation. Dopamine, along with the feel good neurochemical serotonin, creates a drive to seek out more and new novelties.

When you discover your child has found pornography it is important to listen without judgement. It was most likely something they stumbled on rather than sought out. Even if they did seek it out due to curiosity, remember we are wired as sexual beings. Ask about what they have seen, how it made them feel, and what questions they have. Listen without reacting. Do your best to answer their questions honestly, because at this point they have seen everything. Affirm your love for them and acknowledge their bravery for engaging in such a fearful and tender conversation.

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